I hate my social network friends who… share boring food pictures

With over half of the UK population owning a smart phone, Britain is rife with people taking pictures of just about anything and seamlessly uploading them to social media.

I have decided to investigate the day to day effects of the most popular but rubbish trends: food pictures i.e taking a picture of your dinner and uploading it to social media.

But not just any picture, the ones i really hate are the sepia tinted bagels or the 70s looking hotdog the tags #sausage #fun #plate #yummy #pig #lunch. Instagram has ruined lunch.

ceasersalad

Cook Suck – fighting back

Where do you turn if your news feed is a daily deluge of relentless burger snaps? I invite you to turn to CookSuck, a blog with delightful collection of the worst food pics to grace social media. I love this blog but warning, it is really really mean. But it is so funny. But it is also very mean.

Food pics are submitted and subsequently completely ripped to metaphorical shreds by the curator of this Australian site. CookSuck has a no holds barred approach to its targets and comments to the blog include “you are a lonely sad little man who must have had a shitty childhood without enough hugs, kill yourself” and “i think you should be less mean and more funny”.

Salad – food pictures

breadsalad

One example of the beautiful prose on this site includes this response to a picture of a salad posted by a optimistic social media user starting their summer weight loss program. It is posted with such hope, the comment reads “here’s to an awesome start to my new diet” however it is subsequently met with this CookSuck response “the difference between eating a salad and not eating a salad is essentially nothing. You don’t earn any bragging rights for eating a salad – it’s like saying you took a shit and got it in the bowl”. I do feel momentarily sorry for this innocent salad-poster but then I consider my own repetitive food-cluttered news feeds with the same pictures and a stand must be taken!

So I am going to have a go at doing my own version of Cook Suck, picking out the worst boring food pic offenders from my own social media feeds, I am ashamed to say these people are my actual friends and all these pictures were posted within the last week.

Friend #1: Chocolate Pudding

chocpudding

Why does this have four ‘likes’? Why? This person went to Tesco and bought a chocolate pudding, perhaps at a stretch microwave it and tipped a pot of cream over it and for that she is rewarded with precious social media kudos from four different people. Chocolate pudding and cream are both readily available in all good supermarkets and whilst they do come under the “treat” category for the people consuming them, it is not a treat for me to look at them really. I know what chocolate pudding looks like, don’t patronise me.

Friend #2: Burger

burger1

The key term in social networking is supposed to be ‘social’, so when you are halting conversation over your dinner to immortalize it via Instagram then surely this defeats the point. Spoiler alert, this is when social networking turns anti-social. Although I am pleased this person is enjoying their snack and I can now use this picture to compare the quantity of chips on my plate when I visit this establishment (to ensure they are being doled out fairly and equally to all patrons) this is the only use that this picture is to me.

Freind #3: Cheese

cheese

Well I am glad when revolutions are being started through social media platforms, and women for the first time have an opportunity to have a voice through blogs, and citizens now have a direct opportunity to affect policy through online petitions, that this person is using social media in such an inventive and productive way. Cheese! This is a cheese board full of cheese. The description accurately reads “cheese”. What is the point in this? Is this a subversive vegan activist comment on our reliance dairy industry? Is this an attack on our over-indulgent Western diets when there is so many shortages in the rest of the world? No, this is literally a pointless picture of a cheeseboard posted by my sister, and one of the reasons I have un-followed her ridiculously boring updates on social networks.

Cool. Thank you for reading my piece on food pics and please stop uploading boring food pictures on social media because they are rubbish. I will next be investigating the terrible uses of Instagram that is causing me to hate my social media feeds.